Christian One Liners
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Don't let your worries
get the best of you;
remember,
Moses started out
as a basket case.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some people are kind,
polite, and sweet-spirited
until you try to sit in their pews.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Many folks want to serve God,
But only as advisors.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
It is easier to preach ten sermons
than it is to live one.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose,
but mosquitoes come close.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
When you get to your wit's end,
you'll find God lives there.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
People are funny;
they want the front of the bus,
the middle of the road,
and the back of the church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Opportunity may knock once,
but temptation bangs
on your front door forever.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Quit griping about your church;
if it was perfect,
you couldn't belong.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If the church wants a better pastor,
it only needs to pray for the one it has.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God Himself does not propose
to judge a man until he is dead.
So why should you?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up
and permanently set.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Peace starts with a smile.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
I don't know why some people
change churches;
what difference does it make
which one you stay home from?!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
A lot of church members who are singing
"Standing on the Promises"
are just sitting on the premises.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We were called to be witnesses,
not lawyers or judges.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Be ye fishers of men.
You catch them -
He'll clean them.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Coincidence is when God
chooses to remain anonymous.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't put a question mark
where God put a period.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't wait for 6 strong men
to take you to church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Forbidden fruits
create many jams.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God doesn't call the qualified,
He qualifies the called.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God grades on the cross,
not the curve.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God loves everyone,
but probably prefers
"fruits of the spirit"
over
"religious nuts!"
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God promises a safe landing,
not a calm passage.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
He who angers you,
controls you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If God is your Co-pilot,
swap seats!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Prayer:
Don't give God instructions
just report for duty!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The task ahead of us
is never as Great
as the Power behind us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The Will of God
never takes you to where
the Grace of God
will not protect you.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We don't change the message,
the message changes us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
You can tell how big a person is
by what it takes to
discourage him.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The best mathematical equation
I have ever seen:
1 cross
+
3 nails
=
4 given.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"Ideas not coupled with action never become bigger than the brain cells they occupied."
"The empires of the future will be the empires of the imagination."
(Winston Churchill)
"God does not communicate things to us so much as He just is Himself in us. We are the vessels, the containers, so that the first work after the new birth is to cultivate the habit of receptivity."
(Norman Grubb)
"A saint is a creature of vast possibilities, knit into shape by the ruling personality of God."
(Oswald Chambers)
"People want the front seat of the car, the back seat at church, and the center of attention."
(Dallas Willard)
"Whenever you doubt God, ask God to help you doubt your doubt."
(John Wesley)
---
"Any contradiction between our callings and our careers condemns us to be square pegs
in round holes." (Os Guinness)
"A little thing is a little thing, but faithfulness in a little thing is a big thing."
Hudson Taylor
"You can get all A's and still flunk life."
Walker Percy
"The problem with Western Christians is not that they aren't where they should be but that they aren't what they should be where they are."
Os Guinness
"The more we get what we now call 'ourselves' out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly ourselves we become."
C.S. Lewis
"We are responsible because we are response-able."
Os Guinness
====
Church Signs:
Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world!
It is unlikely there'll ever be a reduction in the wages of sin.
Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here.
Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons - come hear one.
People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Also what it takes to sit down and listen.
=+=+
"The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him."
Oswald Chambers
><> <>< ><>
From a recent newsletter by Bob Fetherlin, V.P. for International Ministries, C&MA (used with permission).......
----
A.W. Tozer:
“It is easy to learn the doctrine of personal revival and victorious living; it is quite another thing to take our cross and plod on to the dark and bitter hill of self-renunciation.”
“The cross would not be a cross to us if it destroyed in us only the unreal and the artificial. It is when it goes on to slay the best in us that its cruel sharpness is felt.”
“We must do something about the cross, and one of two things only we can do----flee it or die upon it.”
===
=-=-=-=
A problem for some of us......
We worship work
We work at Play
We play at worship
=======
CHRISTIAN ONE LINERS.......
You don't have to cross the sea to see the cross, but you have to see the cross to cross the sea.
Remember going to church does not make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
"Don't let your worries get the best of you, remember, Moses started
out as a basket case"
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited - until you try to sit
in their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes
come close.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the
road, and the back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door
forever.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one
it has.
God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why
should you?
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Peace starts with a smile.
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it
make which one you stay home from?
A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are
just sitting on the premises.
We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges
Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over
"religious nuts!"
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He who angers you, controls you!
If God is your Copilot - swap seats!
Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not
protect you.
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to .........
discourage him.
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails =
4 given.
"Father, bless the person reading this in whatever it is that You know
they need"
**************
The Pessimist complains about the wind... The Optimist expects it to soon change... A Leader simply adjusts the sails.
I presume everybody has known some one whose life was just radiant. Joy beamed out of their eyes; joy bubbled over lips; joy seemed to fairly run from their fingertips. You could not come in contact with them without having a new light come into your own life. They were great electric batteries charged with joy.
If you look into the lives of such radiantly happy persons--not those people who are sometimes in the valley, but people who are always radiantly happy--you will find that every one is a man or woman who spends a great deal of time in prayer alone with God.
God is the source of all joy, and if we come into contact with Him, His infinite joy comes into our lives.
--Rev. R. A. Torrey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
===
+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Don't let your worries
get the best of you;
remember,
Moses started out
as a basket case.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some people are kind,
polite, and sweet-spirited
until you try to sit in their pews.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Many folks want to serve God,
But only as advisors.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
It is easier to preach ten sermons
than it is to live one.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose,
but mosquitoes come close.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
When you get to your wit's end,
you'll find God lives there.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
People are funny;
they want the front of the bus,
the middle of the road,
and the back of the church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Opportunity may knock once,
but temptation bangs
on your front door forever.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Quit griping about your church;
if it was perfect,
you couldn't belong.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If the church wants a better pastor,
it only needs to pray for the one it has.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God Himself does not propose
to judge a man until he is dead.
So why should you?
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Some minds are like concrete
thoroughly mixed up
and permanently set.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Peace starts with a smile.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
I don't know why some people
change churches;
what difference does it make
which one you stay home from?!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
A lot of church members who are singing
"Standing on the Promises"
are just sitting on the premises.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We were called to be witnesses,
not lawyers or judges.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Be ye fishers of men.
You catch them -
He'll clean them.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Coincidence is when God
chooses to remain anonymous.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't put a question mark
where God put a period.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Don't wait for 6 strong men
to take you to church.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Forbidden fruits
create many jams.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God doesn't call the qualified,
He qualifies the called.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God grades on the cross,
not the curve.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God loves everyone,
but probably prefers
"fruits of the spirit"
over
"religious nuts!"
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
God promises a safe landing,
not a calm passage.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
He who angers you,
controls you!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
If God is your Co-pilot,
swap seats!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
Prayer:
Don't give God instructions
just report for duty!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The task ahead of us
is never as Great
as the Power behind us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The Will of God
never takes you to where
the Grace of God
will not protect you.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
We don't change the message,
the message changes us.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
You can tell how big a person is
by what it takes to
discourage him.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
The best mathematical equation
I have ever seen:
1 cross
+
3 nails
=
4 given.
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*
"Ideas not coupled with action never become bigger than the brain cells they occupied."
"The empires of the future will be the empires of the imagination."
(Winston Churchill)
"God does not communicate things to us so much as He just is Himself in us. We are the vessels, the containers, so that the first work after the new birth is to cultivate the habit of receptivity."
(Norman Grubb)
"A saint is a creature of vast possibilities, knit into shape by the ruling personality of God."
(Oswald Chambers)
"People want the front seat of the car, the back seat at church, and the center of attention."
(Dallas Willard)
"Whenever you doubt God, ask God to help you doubt your doubt."
(John Wesley)
---
"Any contradiction between our callings and our careers condemns us to be square pegs
in round holes." (Os Guinness)
"A little thing is a little thing, but faithfulness in a little thing is a big thing."
Hudson Taylor
"You can get all A's and still flunk life."
Walker Percy
"The problem with Western Christians is not that they aren't where they should be but that they aren't what they should be where they are."
Os Guinness
"The more we get what we now call 'ourselves' out of the way and let Him take us over, the more truly ourselves we become."
C.S. Lewis
"We are responsible because we are response-able."
Os Guinness
====
Church Signs:
Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world!
It is unlikely there'll ever be a reduction in the wages of sin.
Forbidden fruit creates many jams.
Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.
Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here.
Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons - come hear one.
People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.
On Balance
(Bobb Biehl)
Life is a constant struggle for
balance.
Balance is a result of one word…schedule.
Typically you determine your own schedule.
Therefore, you schedule your own balance/imbalance
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Also what it takes to sit down and listen.
=+=+
"The greatest competitor of devotion to Jesus is service for Him."
Oswald Chambers
><> <>< ><>
From a recent newsletter by Bob Fetherlin, V.P. for International Ministries, C&MA (used with permission).......
Quotes
that Stoke . . .
These are quotes from people
who have been on mission with and for God. They stoke Great Commission fire
within me:
·
In the vast plain of the north I have sometimes
seen, in the morning sun, the smoke of a thousand villages where no missionary
has even been. –Robert Moffat
·
We talk of the second coming; half of the world
has never heard of the first. –Oswald
J. Smith
·
Some wish to live within the sound of a chapel
bell, I wish to run a rescue mission within a yard of hell. –C.T. Studd
·
I have but one candle of life to burn, and I
would rather burn it out in a land filled with darkness than in a land flooded
with light. –John Falconer
·
The command has been to “go,” but we have stayed—in
body, gifts, prayer, and influence. –Robert Savage
·
You can give without loving, but you cannot love
without giving. –Amy Carmichael
·
Let my heart be broken with the things that break
God’s heart. –Bob Pierce
·
The mark of a great church is not its seating
capacity, but its sending capacity. –Mike Stachura
·
Would that God would make hell so real to us
that we cannot rest; heaven so real that we must have men there. –J. Hudson
·
“Not called!” did you say? “Not heard the call,”
I think you should say. Put your ear down to the Bible, and hear Him bid
you go and pull sinners out of the fire of sin. Put your ear down to the burdened,
agonized heart of humanity, and listen to its pitiful wail for help. Go stand
by the gates of hell, and hear the damned entreat you to go to their father’s
house and bid their brothers and sisters not to come there. Then look Christ
in the face—whose mercy you have professed to obey—and tell Him whether you
will join heart and soul and body and circumstances in the march to publish
His mercy to the world. –William Booth
·
This gospel of the kingdom shall be preached
in the whole world as a testimony to all the nations, and then the end will
come. –Jesus
·
Here am
Produced
by
----
A.W. Tozer:
“It is easy to learn the doctrine of personal revival and victorious living; it is quite another thing to take our cross and plod on to the dark and bitter hill of self-renunciation.”
“The cross would not be a cross to us if it destroyed in us only the unreal and the artificial. It is when it goes on to slay the best in us that its cruel sharpness is felt.”
“We must do something about the cross, and one of two things only we can do----flee it or die upon it.”
===
=-=-=-=
A problem for some of us......
We worship work
We work at Play
We play at worship
=======
CHRISTIAN ONE LINERS.......
You don't have to cross the sea to see the cross, but you have to see the cross to cross the sea.
Remember going to church does not make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.
"Don't let your worries get the best of you, remember, Moses started
out as a basket case"
Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited - until you try to sit
in their pews.
Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers
It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.
The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes
come close.
When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny, they want the front of the bus, the middle of the
road, and the back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door
forever.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one
it has.
God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why
should you?
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Peace starts with a smile.
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it
make which one you stay home from?
A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are
just sitting on the premises.
We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges
Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
Forbidden fruits create many jams.
God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over
"religious nuts!"
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He who angers you, controls you!
If God is your Copilot - swap seats!
Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not
protect you.
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to .........
discourage him.
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails =
4 given.
"Father, bless the person reading this in whatever it is that You know
they need"
**************
The Pessimist complains about the wind... The Optimist expects it to soon change... A Leader simply adjusts the sails.
I presume everybody has known some one whose life was just radiant. Joy beamed out of their eyes; joy bubbled over lips; joy seemed to fairly run from their fingertips. You could not come in contact with them without having a new light come into your own life. They were great electric batteries charged with joy.
If you look into the lives of such radiantly happy persons--not those people who are sometimes in the valley, but people who are always radiantly happy--you will find that every one is a man or woman who spends a great deal of time in prayer alone with God.
God is the source of all joy, and if we come into contact with Him, His infinite joy comes into our lives.
--Rev. R. A. Torrey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Someone gave me a smile today,
I tried my best to give it away
To everyone I chanced to meet
As I was going along the street,
But everyone that I could see
Would give my smile right back to me.
When I got home, besides one smile,
I had enough to reach a mile.
(--The Bible Friend)
I tried my best to give it away
To everyone I chanced to meet
As I was going along the street,
But everyone that I could see
Would give my smile right back to me.
When I got home, besides one smile,
I had enough to reach a mile.
(--The Bible Friend)
===
Benjamin Franklin once said,
"The sentence which has most influenced my life is, 'Some persons grumble
because God placed thorns among roses. Why not thank God because He placed
roses among thorns?' I first read it when but a mere lad. Since that day
it has occupied a front room in my life and has given it an optimistic trend."
To be meek is to have a disposition to see the roses among the thorns, rather
than to complain about the thorns among the roses. Which do you see? Your
answer will help you to judge whether you possess that meekness of which
our Savior spoke.
Television: chewing
gum for the eyes.
(Frank Lloyd Wright)
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"If it ain’t broke, break it."
(Ralph Trainer, speaking of a heart for the nations.
Is your heart broken for the lost?)
On Character:
By nothing do men show their character more than by the things they laugh at.
(Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe)
The true test of character is not how much
we know how to do, but how we behave when we don't know what to do.
(John Holt)
When the character of a man is not clear
to you, look at his friends. (Japanese Proverb)
The measure of a man's real character is
what he would do if he know he would never be found out. (Thomas
Macaulay)
If I take care of my character, my reputation
will take care of itself. (Dwight L. Moody)
Character consists of what you do on the
3rd and 4th tries.
The best index to a person's character is
(a) how he treats people who can't do him any good, and (b) how he treats
people who can't fight back. (Abigail Van Buren)
If you refuse to be made straight when you
are greeen, you will not be made straight when you are dry. (West
African Proverb)
Most people are willing to change, not because they see the light but because they feel the heat.
Never get angry except on purpose (Unkonwn Japanese Diplomat)
Pray to God but keep rowing toward the shore (Russian Proverb)
Never confuse motion with action. (Ernest Hemingway)
You have a zero percent scoring average on shots you don't take. (Wayne Gretzky)
Since when do you have to agree with people just to defend them from injustice? (Lillina Hellman)
Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years it can boast of a long series of successes. (Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach)
Mountains appear more lofty the nearer they are approached, but great leaders resemble them not in this particular. (Lady Marguerite Blessington)
Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated. You can't cross a chasm in two small jumps. (David Lloyd George, British Prime Minister)
He was a bold man who first ate an oyster. (Jonathan Swift)
When someone gets something for nothing, someone else gets nothing for something.
The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion. (G.K. Chesterton)
==========
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak. Also what it takes to sit down and listen.
--
When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
=-=
If you spend too much time on polishing your reputation, your character will become tarnished.
><>
When two egoists meet, it's an "I for an I."
************
Wisdom is knowing what to do next. Virtue is doing it.
<>< ><> <>< <>< <><
Access to power must be confined to those who are not in love with it.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
Long ago money talked---then it whispered---now it's almost silent.
====
A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.
William Shedd
W orry deprives us of our right to enjoy our life without giving us anything in return. (Robert Gerzon)
^^^^
Character is doing what's right when nobody's looking.
J.C. Watts, Jr. (Politician)
+++++
A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every person leaves a mark.
(Chinese Proverb)
============
Leadership is the art of getting somebody else to do something you want done because he wants to do it. (#510 in 1001 more Humorous Illustrations, Hodgin )
******************
A blunder at the right moment is better than cleverness at the wrong time.
No one will ever know of your honesty and sincerity unless you give out some samples. (#962 in 1001 Humorous Illustrations, Hodgin)
There are many victories worse than defeat.
++++
God created the world out of nothing, and as long as we are nothing, God can make something out of us.
=============
Sign seen on a church bulletin board......"Interested in going to heaven? Apply here for flight training!"
---
A person who has all the answers either is getting easy questions or is giving wrong answers.
(1001 More Humourous Illustrations, Michael Hodgin, #35 page 24)
+++++++
An effective speaker gets milk from many cows, but makes his own butter.
Well done is better than well said.
The best thing about the future is that it comes only one day at a time. (Abraham Lincoln)
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Maybe the eyes are the windows of the soul, but that still doesn't make the mouth the door to the brain.
*******
Someone has said, "One thing is for sure, if you see a turtle on top of a fence post you know he had help getting there."
-------
It's impossible for a worthwhile thought to enter your mind through an open mouth.
(1001 Humorous Illustrations , Michael Hodgin, #908 and # 546)
**********
"I woke up one morning and all of my stuff had been stolen... and replaced by exact duplicates."
"If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain"
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm".
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."
"What happens if you get scared half to death twice?"
"My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
"The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up."
(From the works of Steven Wright)
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A nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others.
(1001 Humorous Illustrations , Michael Hodgin, #168)
If you don't get everything you want, think of the things you don't get that you don't want!
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If a man has limburger cheese on his upper lip, he thinks the whole world smells.
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Shouting to make your kids obey is like using your horn to steer the car, and you get about the same results.
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Submitted by The Tricola Family ......... "Where a tree falls in the forest, there it lies."
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
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"Thanksgiving is a good thing;
thanksliving is better"
Patrick Henry
"The secret of joy is
not to wait until you feel happy, but to rise, by an act of faith, out of
the depression which is dragging you down and begin to praise God as an act
of choice. This is the meaning of such passages as these: Rejoice in the
Lord Always: and again I say, Rejoice (Philippians 4:4). I therein
do rejoice, yea, and will rejoice (Philippians 1:18). Count it all
joy when ye fall into divers temptations (James 1:2)." (A.B.
Simpson)